What To Do If Your Child Hates Learning How To Read

Is your child fighting with you tooth and nail when it comes to learning how to read? Have bedtime reading sessions become a battleground and you’re starting to fear your little darling will leave the primary grades without getting through a book on his/her own? I’ve been through this myself (twice) with my own children – which is why I’m here to help you with these 7 great tips on how to teach your child to read when they don’t want to.

Let me start off by saying that I am the mom of 4 young daughters, ages 10, 8, 6, and almost 2. I’m also an elementary school teacher. My middle two children both stubbornly refused to learn how to read! Odette (age 6) is still giving us a run for our money. So, I completely understand the frustration, anxiety, and temper flare-ups that arise, for both parents and kids, when a child hates learning how to read.

There are plenty to great articles written by education experts that help explain the mechanics of how kids learn to read. Words like phonetic awareness and decoding come to mind. Those are certainly concepts that children need to grasp. However, this article is about how I, as a mom and teacher, taught (sometimes forced) my kids to read! I want to help other parents out there who are asking themselves, “How can I teach my child to read, when they hate reading”?

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How To Teach Your Child To Read (When They Don’t Want To)

1. Practice Reading Everyday

My number one tip for getting your child to start reading is to do it everyday! This may sound simple, but it can be very challenging when you have a busy family life.

Getting my stubborn 6-year-old to sit down with me and sound out words became such a struggle, that I was often tempted to just give up for the day…and sometimes I did! However, this ended up backfiring on me because she quickly learned that stomping around and throwing books resulted in her getting let off the hook.

Now that my husband and I don’t relent, and make everyday reading a must-do, she has learned that fighting with us isn’t worth it in the end…on most days. We still have the occasional battle but they are far shorter and less bloody!

If you can keep a consistent timeslot during the day when reading practice happens…even better. Try to choose a time that not only works with your schedule, but is also a time of the day when your child is more receptive to learning. For my now 8-year-old daughter, Iris, that time was first thing in the morning when she woke up, or right before bed. With Odette, we are finding that mid-morning (on the weekends) or right after dinner works best.

2. Create Consequences For Not Trying

There were many days my attempts to encourage my girls to read resulted in tears, tantrums, and all out revolt!

As any parent knows, this response to your genuine efforts to help your child are extremely frustrating. There were a few times, early on with Iris, when I was almost in tears after one of our “reading” lessons.

With my kids, I found an effective strategy was to create a direct, timely consequences if they didn’t show me a legitimate attempt at reading.

By this, I don’t mean that my kids had to complete an entire story, or sound out a certain number of words…I simply needed to see that they were trying for a sustained amount of time. This looked different depending upon what stage of learning to read they were at. During the early stages, I was happy if Odette was attempting to sound out the “a” sound in cat or bat, for example.

However, if when I signaled to my kids that it was time to read and I was met by foot stomping or screaming or any number of other avoidance behaviours, then my girls would lose-out on electronics time or I’d cancel a playdate with their friends.

Keep consistent and don’t back down if you give a consequence. Your kids will soon learn that you mean it.

Related Article: How To Teach Your Kids French At Home

3. Give The Occasional Reward For Good Effort

You may be starting to think I’m a real hard*!# of a parent!

While I do strongly believe that kids need to learn that we just have to power through the things in life we don’t want to do, I also really love seeing the joy that learning to read brings to a child.

If your child doesn’t want to learn how to read, I found that offering a small reward for good effort helped to motivate my own kids. By small, I mean taking a trip to the library with mom to pick-out some new books or ordering a new one online. In a large family like ours, one-on-one attention is rare so a private trip to the park to play soccer is also a great treat.

4. Find A Special Reading Space

Every good teacher knows that designating a space in the classroom solely for reading helps young children focus and be comfortable. If kids feel comfortable they are more likely to try new things – such as pronouncing new words.

Pre-covid, this meant setting-up a reading nook, carpet, or tent where kids could curl-up and read.

I believe the same philosophy works for teaching reading at home. When we were struggling to get Iris to learn her letter sounds, we created a reading space in her bedroom by sticking removable Alphabet wall stickers on her wall to help her. We also added a comfy reading chair in her bedroom like this one…my kids have a thing for sloths!

At present, Odette feels special when she has one-on-one reading time sitting with me on my bed…away from the noise of our hectic household. Curling-up next to me helps her focus and retain new words.

Whichever space in your home you choose, providing a warm atmosphere for your child to read will result in a positive association with reading.

5. Use Real Life Experiences

In addition to our persistent reading sessions, one of the motivating factors that got my Iris reading on her own was her desire to play video games.

One day, I decided to stop answering her requests to read the instructions and character speech bubbles on her favourite online game. I simply told her she would have to read them herself and I would help her with any words she was truly stuck on.

Voila…an authentic reason for her to learn how to read!

With Odette, I’m finding that she likes to help with the grocery list each weekend. The deal is that she can write the list out on her own as long as she doesn’t completely rely on me to spell all the words for her. Then, when we do the shopping, she has to read what is next on the list.

Find something your child enjoys doing and incorporate reading independently into the experience.

For some great ideas on how to add fun and relevant learning experiences into your child’s life, check out my friend and fellow teacher’s Facebook page Homeschool on the Farm. Krista is a French immersion elementary school teacher who has loads of great educational ideas for parents of young kids.

Related Article: Best Canadian Curriculum Resources For Home Learning

6. Play Sight Word Games

Mixing learning with play is a motivating strategy for many kids. Although most of our reading time is dedicated to sitting down with a book, I do incorporate some games into the mix for fun.

One of Odette’s favourites was passed on to us by her grade 1 homeroom teacher this year. It is simple and surprisingly fun to a 6-year-old. As a matter of fact, even her older siblings want to play and help-out Odette.

Here’s how it goes:

1. Get a pack of Sight Word flash cards appropriate for your child’s grade level (you can also make your own)
2. Choose 10 – 15 words to learn – you can add new words once the old ones are easy
3. Hide the cards around your house
4. Instruct your child to find the cards one by one and bring them to you
5. Your child must read the word on the card before finding the next card
6. Once all the cards are found, and read, your child wins
7. You can award a prize if you’d like but I find my kids just love playing the game for fun

We use Canadian Curriculum Press’ Sight Words Learning Cards, but I also like this pack of cards because you can get beginner through advanced sets.

7. Choose Age Appropriate Books

Have you ever began reading a new book only to find yourself having to reread the same sentences over and over again to find the meaning? This process is frustrating and can cause even the most enthusiastic reader to abandon a book.

Now imagine how discouraging it is for your child to struggle over every single word in their book!

You can set your little one up for success on their reading adventure by choosing levelled readers that match their skill level.

When your child is just starting to learn letter sounds and blends, look for books that repeat the same words over and over, and that contain rhyming words.

We have dozens of Scholastic’s levelled reading books around our house! To get you started, I recommend a letter-coded set like this one that corresponds to the books your child reads in school. The higher the letter, the more difficult the book.

What To Do If Your Child Hates Learning How To Read: Conclusion

Try not to blame yourself, or get to discouraged, if your child is refusing to learn how to read. I know many bright kids that struggled to read. Their parents had a nightly routine, had books in the home, and even modeled good reading habits… yet, their kids did not want to learn how to read.

Keep trying and incorporate some of the tips in this post. Take comfort in the fact that your efforts aren’t in vain and your child’s reading skills will develop at their own pace.

I can now thankfully say that Iris is a great reader! She started getting into chapter books this year on her own and does well in school. Seeing her hard-fought-for success makes me more confident that Odette’s current struggles can be overcome. I hope my above tips help you to teach your child to read if they are refusing to learn.

If you have any great tips for helping a child to read, please leave a comment below. Thanks.

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